i need ferguson to go down in history books. i need school children in the year 2074 to learn about michael brown being shot on august 9th, 2014 by officer darren wilson. i need this to spark a movement. this can not lose the focus of society a mere month after it happened.
Two other women, also breast cancer survivors, said their husbands left them after they were diagnosed. Both had to have mastectomies (in case anyone doesn’t know, this is the surgical operation to remove one or both breasts).
The first woman said her husband told her that he would rather see her dead than see her lose her breasts. The second woman had her operation and waited all day to be picked up by her husband, who never arrived. By nightfall, one of the nurses offered to give her a ride, and she came home to find the house empty.
Obviously, these are extreme cases of a man’s reaction to his wife’s breast cancer, but this is what I see when I see the “I ♥ Boobies” bracelets. I see love of the body parts, not the person being treated—not the patient, not the victim, not the survivor.
This phrase (It’s not my job) gets thrown around, attacked and demeaned pretty often. If you’ve been following this blog for a while, you’ve seen posts where I explain that part of the reason this phrase is used is because people often want the education from A) a person who: doesn’t want to/shouldn’t have to/never offered to give it or B) from someone they’ve just finished insulting and/or being bigoted towards.
In previous posts, I mentioned that part of the issue is that there ARE people who will answer your questions and explain things to you. The idea that you EXPECT this from any random person, specifically, a person who is upset with you because of something you’ve done to hurt them, is very telling of your aggrandized self view. As well as how little you think of the person you’re demanding the education from.
What you should know, is that there is more to the story.
Much of the disgust by people who’re being told they should just “Explain” or they should “Nicely tell the person blah blah blah” or even that they should “Educate so the person can understand” comes from the fact that the person being hurt and being MADE to educate has ALWAYS been in the position to explain, be nice and smile and dance for the person/people who have just put them down, stepped on or belittled them.
Many people, genuinely believe, that if they’re “Polite” about something they’ve said, a question they’ve asked, you should be happy and willing to answer the question. That almost sounds reasonable doesn’t it? Now consider this, the “Polite” question they’re talking about is racist as hell. So-They don’t know it’s racist. Okay, fine. Let’s say I believe this. The very idea that they EXPECT an answer to a racist question, one they may or may not have known was racist, is considered PERFECTLY REASONABLE? Why? Okay, you didn’t “Mean” to say something racist. But if you did say something racist, why is it now the person who you were racist toward’s “Job” to “Nicely explain” things to you?
This would be somewhat reasonable if and only if there were no other outlets to get your questions answered but there are many. No, not many. MILLIONS. Why does the person, the specific person that you’ve just insulted have to be the ONE and only ONE to “Nicely explain” your bigotry to you? That demand is unreasonable, hateful, ignorant, mean and abusive.
In addition to all of this, you’ve first been bigoted, then you’ve demanded an education but not just any education. A “Nice” education. A “Calm” education. A “Pretty” education. One that uses only the words you deem acceptable. Words that won’t ruffle your delicate sensibilities.
You gave no concern for the person you’ve hurt with your racism but you demand that they show YOU concern when they explain to you the ABC’s of humanity.
So-You give bigoted insults, then show how little you think of the person by continuing to insult them by demanding an explanation, then you demand that when they give you the education, they only use the sweet and kindly words you’ve chosen…
You’ve made it clear that you have ZERO respect for this person as a human being. You’ve made it clear that you don’t care about their emotional well being, their time and in some cases, even their physical well being. You’ve put yourself above them in every way. Yet…you want more. You demand more. You continue to insult them if they don’t give you more. Right that second. Right when you ask.
We’ve all dealt with people like you all of our lives. You don’t want an explanation. You want to continue stepping on the same people you’ve always stepped on. A person who demands an explanation as to why the person they’ve just shot is bleeding, FROM the person they’ve just shot, isn’t looking for understanding. They’re looking for a loop hole. A small piece of ammunition that would make what they’ve just done okay. Those of us who have to deal with people like you all day, every day KNOW you when we see you. We know that if we make the mistake of “Nicely explaining” your reaction will NOT be understanding, discourse or even concern. It will be to search, desperately search for any hole, even the smallest opening where you can stick your foot in and say, “Oh yeah well if that’s the case then blah blah blah.”
Yet, you don’t understand why people keep telling you it’s not their job to educate you. Well, I’ll tell you why. It’s because you’re a no account, good for nothing, malicious bigot. Nobody owes you shit.